The Lamest Halloween Costume...Ever!

When I was in the 5th grade, I remember looking at patterns at the fabric store with Mom and Joe. Mom held up a Crayola crayon pattern and said, "Leah, what color of crayon do you want to be?"

Me: "Yellow!"

Mom: "Okay. Joe what color of crayon do you want to be?"

Joe: "I want to be a tube of toothpaste!"

Mom bought one pattern, a bunch of yellow felt, a bunch of white felt and a bunch of red felt and used the crayon pattern for both costumes. In case you were wondering, Joe was Colgate. I still think Mom should have made him Aquafresh instead. Fitting nine letters plus the Aquafresh striped swirl on that costume would have been impressive. Colgate = cop out.

Olivia has decided to be an evil queen for Halloween this year. Since Mom made most of the costumes for me and Joe when we were kids, it's important to me to continue the tradition for Olivia (meaning Mom makes Olivia's costumes because I don't know how to sew). We were at the fabric store a few days ago looking for an evil queen pattern and something caught my eye. It was a family of penguins so a family of humans could match for Halloween. Kind of like how on vacation, there tends to be one family wandering about wearing matching green shirts.

I found a pattern of various capes that included a queen. The pattern also included a picture of a kid dressed as a vampire.

Me: "Olivia, you should be a vampire this year. If you're going to be a vampire, this is the year to do it!"

Olivia (with eye roll and disgusted sigh): "Mama, I don't have my two front teeth hell-oo! I would be the lamest vampire...ever!"

Exactly my point.

So...which is the lamest costume ever? Toothless Vampire? Yellow crayon? This guy? Tube of toothpaste? That time Joe made Mom create an Optimus Prime costume for him out of cardboard boxes and colored tape?

It should be mentioned that I don't really consider any of these costumes lame, except for Papa Penguin. I really hope that guy walked away with a giant sack of dirty money for being photographed while skidding on his belly.