Smelly Heat

About a month ago, Mocha went missing. She wasn't acting like herself one day so I had planned to take her to the vet but she didn't come home. I'm pretty sure she found a hidey-hole like some cats do when they are sick.

Very sad. Mocha was a good cat.

About a week ago, a putrid smell started coming out of the air vents every time the heat kicked on. I turned on the air conditioning...same putrid smell. It was faint at first so I let it go for a couple of days without too much worry. Each day, the smell was stronger and stronger; it was a sewer smell with just a touch of fishy-ness and some other kind of foul stench. I began to wonder if I had found Mocha.

A couple of days ago, I was talking to Josie on the phone when the heat kicked on.

"Ugh! There is something stanky coming out of my air vents. I'm afraid it may be Mocha."

"I wish I could smell it because I know dead smells and could tell you on the spot. One time, there was a dead cat under our back porch and it stank for two weeks. It wasn't fun getting that cat out from under the porch."

Josie confirmed that there was a bit of a fishy smell to the dead cat under her porch. This information did not make me feel better and I began to mentally prepare myself for the possibility of an investigative journey into the crawl space before the vents burped out a gaggle of flies.

(Who am I kidding? There is no way I would ever go under the house. I'm just pretending to be all tough and capable like that. This is a boy-only task; this is why boys exist.)

Last night, the smell coming from the vents was so bad I thought my eyeballs would melt. I opened several windows, pulled the blanket over my head and went to sleep. This morning, the smell was still there so I looked online to check movie times and began to plan our day far away from the house. I decided to do a search for "raunchy vent smell" and found a question and answer forum. One of the postings was for a situation very similar to mine and one answer had three possibilities:

dead animal, leaking sewer pipe or dried out P-Trap.

Apparently, if there is a drain in the house that doesn't get much use, the P-Trap dries out and can cause sewer gas to be sucked into the air intake for the furnace. Something about the pipes that stick out of the roof. It was suggested to run water in all of the drains and see if the smell went away.

The bathtub in the second bathroom doesn't get much use anymore so I crossed my fingers and turned on the water. I went into the living room, turned up the thermostat and waited for the curtains to start blowing around. I walked over, steeled myself, stuck my face into the air and sniffed. I smelled nothing. I felt a little better but needed a second opinion.

"Olivia, can you do me a favor and tell me what the air coming out of that vent smells like?"

"It doesn't smell like anything, Mama."

Relief! On soooo many levels!

Olivia and I miss Mocha. We have a garden statue for Mocha but haven't figured out yet where to put it in the yard. It will probably go someplace close to the front door because every day when we came home from work/school, Mocha was always waiting for us by the front door. She would also try to open the front door by jumping and then hanging from the door knob. The neighbors told me that her hanging record was 12 minutes.

That cat was cool.

Today The Pond...Tomorrow The World!

In 1972, MGM released a horror movie about a crotchety patriarch named Jason Crockett(Ray Milland). Crockett owns an island and the entire Crockett Clan gathers each 4th of July to celebrate the old coot's birthday. Crockett ain't too keen on having critters running amok during the festivities so he does what any self-respecting millionaire would do and poisons them.

A free-lance environmentalist photographer named Pickett Smith just happens to come across Crockett's private island and is the hero of the movie. I believe Pickett arrived by canoe. My guess is to reduce his carbon footprint by leaving his gas-guzzling speedboat at home.

Joe and I absolutely LOVE this movie! For many reasons but first and foremost, Pickett Smith is played by Sam Elliott and anybody who has seen Road House knows that a movie with Sam Elliott is worth a look-see. Of course, Patrick Swayze as Dalton is the real reason to watch Road House but when Sam Elliott's character first shows up to give Dalton some help kicking in the teeth of the local troublemakers, he calls the bar The Double Douche instead of The Double Deuce. That's some fine cinematic writing at work. What's more amazing about Road House is the hair on the three main characters. One would think Kelly Lynch would be the prettiest of them all but this picture proves otherwise. Maybe if she showed off more chest hair in the v-neck of her shirt she'd have a chance but Sam Elliott's v-neck is clearly the winner.

Don't judge me. You know that every time USA runs its Road House marathon, you call up Domino's and plant yourself firmly in front of the telly so you won't miss one moment of not believing Swayze could actually whoop up on any of those fools he bounces out of town.

Anyway, back to Frogs...The frogs are the ringleaders that plot against Crockett and his brood for their anti-nature behavior. The frogs keep us guessing throughout by sending in different creatures each time to kill off the polluting humans. Will it be the lizards? Or the spiders? Or the alligators? How about that turtle? Yes, even a turtle gets a little blood on its shell.

Were Joe and I scared by this movie? Absolutely not! Today, I was in Target with my cousin and his family and the kids pulled a bunch of stuffed frogs that sang and danced down from the shelf and set them all off at the same time. Now THAT was horrifying!

Seriously...just look at these things...they are frightening!

What's Wrong With Squirrels These Days?

I'm very concerned about the future of squirrels. They haven't been following the rules and that's going to get them squished.

This morning as I drove to Olivia's school, I had to swerve to avoid running over a squirrel. A few minutes later as I drove to work, I had to swerve to avoid running over a squirrel. A few minutes later when I was almost to work, a squirrel darted out before I could swerve and went underneath the car. I reluctantly checked the rearview mirror but didn't see any squirrel carnage.

A couple of hours later, I left work, got into the car and headed to the doctor. I had to swerve to avoid running over a squirrel. Two hours later, I was driving back to work from the doctor and I had to swerve to avoid running over a squirrel. This was slightly difficult because my left arm was very sore from the tetanus shot and my left arm is my swerving arm. I pulled into a drive-thru coffee hut to medicate myself as all of this squirrel swerving was making my nerves jittery. A few minutes later, I was driving to back to work with my triple venti latte and I had to swerve to avoid running over a squirrel.

I don't think it was the same squirrel.

The Zoo Is Full Of Useful Information

Olivia and I went to the zoo with Joe, Jess and Tadeuzs. Even though we have been to the zoo many times before, we learned lots of new things today which are listed below in order:

1. Starfish have butts;
2. You should always have a large supply of hot dogs on hand;
3. Hippos gossip;
4. Zebras are lazy;
5. Lizards are stupid (a rock is NOT a comfy pillow...DUH!); and
6. Tigers are cool.

Well, we already knew about the tigers so that's not really "new" information.