On A Scale From One To Ten...

...I rate those a Russell Crowe.

Let's say that you and I are at the mall, you try on a pair of jeans and ask for my opinion. Even though they are the latest style and most people are wearing them, they're not very flattering and I think the brand is overrated so I say, "Meh...about a four."

Of course, anything less than an eight is unacceptable so you pass on the jeans and we mosey on down to the food court for a Jamba Juice.

In real life, this situation probably wouldn't happen for two reasons: my strong aversion to the mall and the fact that I do not rate via the 1 to 10 scale system anymore. I have created my own rating system...The Man Scale. A celebrity represents a number from 1 to 10. Instead of rating those jeans a four, I would have said, "Meh...about a Russell Crowe" because I find Crowe less-than-average in the looks department and just a wee bit overrated.

Pretty stupid, huh?

When Gladiator came out, one of my friends kept telling me to watch it because Russell was half-nekkid most of the time. This did not entice me to watch the movie because when I think of Russell Crowe, I immediately think of Sloth from The Goonies. I think they are the same except one is less pirate-y.

Here is The Man Scale that I use:

1 = Carrot Top (Shudder)

2 = Ric Ocasek (Eat a sandwich already)

3 = Steve Buscemi

4 = Russell Crowe

5 = John Cusack (Solid average)

6 = Edward Norton

7 = Chris Isaak (He dresses up in concert)

8 = Christian Bale

9 = Dennis Quaid/Steve McQueen

10 = Paul Newman, Paul Newman, Paul Newman and Paul Newman

I highly recommend the movie Slap Shot but be warned of the foul language. Newman's wardrobe in the movie is incredible.