It's All About Me

I'm a young-ish mom to Olivia (on the brink of being old-ish) who looks for humor in most situations but can be overly sarcastic at times.

Tuesday, July 10, 2007

Transformers, Excessive Heat and Chachi

This morning at 6:15, Dave Salesky warned of scorching heat for the next two days as I finished my cereal and asked my daughter to brush her teeth. I found the weather report to be ironic since just two days prior, I had turned on the A/C in the car and boiling air blasted into my face instead of a cool breeze. At 6:30, I cleaned up the dishes, turned off the telly and made another request for all small people in the house to practice oral hygiene immediately or I was going to count to three. Apparently, the idea of me counting out-loud is terrifying because that child and her pearly whites were ready to go at 6:32 and hi-ho hi-ho, it's off to day camp/drop the car off at the dealership because I'm not trying to have sweaty pits/work we go.

At work, my friend (Mark from Seattle) googled that he had seen Transformers and it was BADASS and that I might be interested to hear that Josh Duhamel was in the movie. I replied something along the lines of "Is that the guy who is on the show 'Vegas' with James Caan? Eh..." to which Mark responded, "Well, it also has giant fighting robots that change into cars, trucks and planes...THAT'S why it's so good!" I asked if Megatron transformed into a gun or if they changed him into something else. Mark said that Megatron turned into a jet but Optimus Prime was still a semi-truck. I then deemed the movie lame-o and stated I wouldn't watch it because Megatron is the leader of the Decepticons and a major character and when the Transformers first came onto the scene in the 80's, he was a revolver so it's wrong for the movie-making-people to switch him into a jet.

(Now, in the real world, I don't care a flying fig what Megatron transforms into. He could change from evil robot leader into a too-ripe banana and I wouldn't bat an eye. If Mr. Movie Maker wants to put an existing story/idea onto the big screen, the core characters need to remain intact or everything falls apart...that's my point. Don't believe me? Take a moment to think of Indiana Jones running from the giant rolling boulder in "Raiders of the Lost Ark"...intense, right? Let's say Joel Schumacher filmed a remake of "Raiders" and he replaced the boulder with the Kool-Aid Guy (it could happen...Jim Carrey as The Riddler was one of the least scary villains ever). Even though Indiana would certainly be crushed to death by either, the Kool-Aid Guy just doesn't have the same feel...entirely different movie. You could get your admission back from the theater over something like that.)

Anyway, Mark then said that I probably wanted to marry Optimus Prime when I was kid. Of course, I did NOT want to marry OP but I did have a crush on Alex P. Keaton. Not so much Michael J. Fox...just APK...and I never really understood what Joanie possibly saw in Chachi. Or Scott Baio.

Mark informed me that Baio has a reputation for hooking up with hot or semi-hot actresses (especially during "Happy Days" & "Joanie Loves Chachi"). I asked him if Marion Ross had sniffed around Baio's cage and Mark said that he didn't think so. That was a relief because remember how creepy it was when we found out that Mrs. Brady dated Greg Brady in real life? Same sort of thing, except Mrs. Cunningham wasn't related to Chachi.

Here's where it starts to get weird.

After work, I collected my daughter and drove home in a loaner car because my car was still at the dealership. We had dinner and turned on the news which reported a high temp of 102 degrees...nasty. Normally after the news, I watch a movie but my mailbox didn't have any Netflix so I sat at the table and worked on my computer. I'm not sure why I didn't turn off the TV but "Extra" or "Access Hollywood" or "Whatever" apparently comes on after the news and was droning in the background. I wasn't paying attention to the blonde chatty chat chat until I heard, "...and when we come back from the break, Scott Baio turns 45 and talks about his happy days with the ladies before Joanie loved Chachi."


It's not like Scott Baio is currently on a show or in a movie or at all relevent so the mere fact that he was mentioned in my google with Mark and mentioned on TV the very same day is a bit odd. THEN...add in how Mark said that SB caught all of the tail back in the day, which is exactly what the blonde lady promised to report on next, and we are suddenly having a Twilight Zone moment.

Is this some sort of sign? If so, what kind of sign might that be? Because it worries me...A LOT! The last thing I want (well, maybe not the absolute 'last' thing but definitely waaaay down at the bottom of the Things I Want list) is to find out that Mark and I are destined to become the leaders of some sicko SB/Chachi worshipping cult so we end up quitting our jobs to travel the country in a Winnebago, spreading the word that Charles is in charge of our days and our nights.

I do believe the government would step in and take my daughter to live with her new mommy in Scottsdale, AZ. She'd probably get a pony, too.

OOOOOH...back from commercial. Scotty Boy got with Heather Locklear, Pam Anderson, Brooke Shields (was she drugged?), Erika Eleniak, Nicollette Sheridan...other gals but I didn't catch the names because I was trying process Brooke Shields. What was she thinking? Were her bushy eyebrows obstructing her view and she thought SB was actually JFK, Jr.? Poor gal...imagine her shock and horror once she busted out the tweezers to find Scott peering back at her instead of John John.


Tim Lane said...

haha, did you know that scott baio (sp?) has his own show now on VH1...

sad that i know this...

Me said...

NO! Why is Chachi coming back to TV?

I may have to keep my eye on this situation...