Once a week, I volunteer in Olivia's classroom for an hour. My assignment: Flash Cards. I agreed to this only because the answer is on the back of each flash card and doesn't require any attempt at doing math in my head.
My brother, Joe, also can't do math in his head. Just ask his 2nd grade teacher, Mrs. Krause, who was a nasty ole' thing and told our mother, "Joe is too stupid to do math." I'd tell you to also ask his Sophomore algebra teacher, Mr. Shockey, but Mr. Shockey would actually have to know who my brother is in order to answer the question. During a Parent/Teacher conference, Mr. Shockey asked our mother, "Are you sure Joe is in my class?"
Joe and I went to really, really good schools. (For the record, we both can do math but it may or may not involve a calculator.)
Anyway...while doing the flash cards, I noticed something and I just have to ask:
Is it normal for a 2nd grade kid to be doing long division?
Because I don't think it's normal.
There are three (possibly four) kids in that class room who are studying long division.
I won't make eye contact with those kids.
All I can remember about the 2nd grade is that I rode a pink Schwinn bicycle and my teacher's name was Mrs. Schwinn. And something about a green hat.
The other day, Olivia told me that she "already knew everything" and, therefore, she "didn't need to go to school" anymore.
"You're in the 2nd grade and you already know everything, do ya? What's pi?"
"Huh? Do you mean chocolate or lemon pie? Are we going to eat some pie, Mama?"
I informed her that she needed some more schoolin' and didn't 'splain any further.
I'm going to ask those three (possibly four) kids in her class for the value of pi the next time I'm there. If I hear anything about the ratio of a circle's circumference to its diameter, it had better be that Kid C got a bigger slice of pie than Kid D and Kid X doesn't particularly care for pie but really likes vanilla ice cream.
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